GETTING A HAIRCUT

Hey all! I need to post a poem because it's August 11th (almost August 12th) and I haven't posted anything this month. To be honest, I haven't had much time to focus on my own writing. As I sprawled on the couch tonight (grades were turned in today for summer semester! wooo!) I saw my copy of Aaron Belz's book of poems called Lovely, Raspberry lying underneath the cushions with the dust bunnies. I sifted it out, brushed it off, and read a couple pieces. He doesn't write only funny poems, but most of them are funny, in some way. (I met him at AWP but we only discussed our preferences in types of Scotch.) Afterward, I sat down briefly to write. I got another wee narrative written from the perspective of a married male. Que sera.

GETTING A HAIRCUT

I love you so much I would let you cut my hair

right after the only other girl working in the salon

throws her blow dryer and flat iron into a grocery bag

and tells you to go to hell because she quits,

even though my hair is already too short

and I’ve been thinking about growing it longer.

When you get mad you like to tear sheets of paper

in half because you think punching pillows is too violent

and it makes a person prone to unintentionally punching

a spouse or a dog or some other non-pillow

the next time they are angry and pillowless.

One time you took a flat of peaches back to the store

because six of them were badly bruised

and when the grocer refused to give you back

your five dollars you held the receipt up in front of him

and tore it down the middle; when we got home

you said you didn’t feel like being upset anymore.

That’s why I trust you with scissors, even though

I only came in here to drop off the frozen lunch

you left at home this morning but now I’m getting

a haircut as well so you can talk it out, and I don’t

even care that you forgot to put that soft ribbon

of tissue paper between the cape and my neck.

...